Day 5 - Sameeps arrival

I set my alarm for the crack of dawn ... we'll 8am and was up and ready to tackle the day by 11 sharp. I started canvassing hostels, and by 11:03 settled down for breakfast. A steaming bowl of chickeny soupy noodlish...thing. It was great.The beer finished it off nicely. The new hotel didn't have a pool but was half the price and the only place that I could find that had twin beds and didn't require me putting too much effort in. Feeling chuffed, full and organised I took my honking skidded pants to the laundrette and decided to get a Tuktuk out for a bit of sight seeing. The reclining or sleeping Buddha was closed on Sundays for some religious thing. I opted for the less well known glass Buddha. To save people time effort and a life risking ride in a tuktuk...don't bother. The guide was very knowledgeable telling me about the Buddhist religion and saying that the three Buddhist statues on the alter (?) were solid gold. My arse. These things were about three feet high and as you all know Buddha is a fat fucker so there must have been a tonne of gold. Literally. I joked about the need for the big strong ornate doors to keep light fingered people from taking the gold "nobody would steal a Buddha! ". I had insulted him. He walked off to chat to some other tourists and left me...a light fingered lad from Barry. I looked at the statues for a weak point. A toe or nose would pay for hostels for the next few weeks. A foot would see Sameep and I driving round Thailand in a Ferrari. I weighed up the pros and cons and decided that the prison term for pulling a foot off of a Buddha would be hefty and I'm pretty sure that I wouldn't have many friends either while I was in there as the Buddhists account for about 95% of the population. I hopped on to my tuktuk for a death defying drive back to the hostel.
Sameep arrived on the flight from India looking like a heap of jet lagged shite. A crafty redbull and we were on the piss, Mothball 3000 style. The remainder of the night is sketchy but I woke up drunk and semi clothed on the floor of the room.